Random thoughts

剛剛在看'sex and the city'時，好多的情緒一下子涌了上來。這一部關於性与愛的電視劇總是讓我想了又想，欲罷不能。里面的情節也縂讓我想起Freud的理論，或許我是真的有點中了他的毒吧，總是把一些細節用psychoanalysis的方法把它合理化。好玩，但也危險，因爲我開始分析我自己，嘗試把一些事情合理化。
每個人都在嘗試尋找一些東西，不論是看似簡單或複雜，縂想找出答案。玄，有時侯我在想爲什麽人類可以用一個字來表達很多不合理的事物。Profound, is it? or is it no? i am confused. NOthing seems so right, and nothing seems so wrong. Freud said that there are unfulfilled wishes that lie in the unconscious mind. Everyone has both sides, one represents the good, and one represents the evil, the evil is the infantile or unconscious, the good is our conscious. 我們被教養成有禮貌，politeness, 但縂有一面我們會不知不覺地表現出最真實的自己，最原始的自己。你有沒有看出自己的那一面？那一個在黑暗的自己？記得她告訴過我說她發現了自己最齷阼的一面，感覺好骯髒，感覺很自卑。其實我真的覺得我也找到了那一面的自己。不知道你還有沒有來這個網，但想讓你知道，最齷阼的其實只是你好的另一面，是好的一面讓你覺得自己齷阼不堪。社會教會我們什麽是骯髒，什麽是乾淨，但卻不知道因爲這教育讓這社會更烏煙瘴氣。我們是存在于一個虛僞的城市，每個人都被洗腦了，所以在你的思想裏，是不是存有一把衡量對与錯的尺？
Freud also said, the unconscious is precisely the opposite of the conscious. I found it very interesting, because it reminds me of my fear of animals. In the unconscious, do i really love animals? Do i really find something that i really want in them but my conscious mind prevent me to have it? Someone who thinks that it is dirty, like sex, must feel that they themselves are the one who really love it? Cannot seems to prevent the thought that ourselves are the one who suffocated ourselves...