寂寞寂寞就好

早点认错，早一点解脱。
我寂寞寂寞就好，这时候谁都别来安慰，拥抱。
就让我一个人去痛到受不了，想到快疯掉。
死不了，就还好。

但寂寞久了，才发现身旁不需另一个人，我也可以过得很好。
对你是不是不公平？对自己是不是太无情。
我的信仰，人本来就寂寞的，借来的，总得还。
是否残忍了点呢？
我看破了，放开了执着，看得见的以后，却是对爱的不渴望。
只是加深了对循环定律的无奈。

我多想回到依然执着的自己，天真的自己，对爱渴望的自己。

Fear? or conquer?

To be honest, it's been ages since I had someone cares that much about me. yea, it's been awhile.
It reminds me of those days when I was still naive and thought love could conquer everything.
Was it aging or was it disappointment that I stopped believing in love. I lost the hope of wanting to love but to be loved. yet when here's the chance, I took a step back and felt like running away.
I hope the feeling would go away, the feeling of running away...because I truly wanted to take the chance, the chance to be loved once again...

问题1

你，还相信－得不到，总是最美的吗？

睡前你的一句晚安，别让我上瘾，好吗？即使那很甜。

Relationship?

那天，他问了，怎么办？我装冷静地告诉他，我还没准备好，而当我准备好时，我会告知你。
怎么办？我开始慌了，我是喜欢你吗？还是只因为你是个好男人，所以我还想再勾住你多一会儿？
怎么办？真给我妈说中了“船头惊鬼，船尾惊贼”。唉。撞进去吧，管不了了吧？

无题

书桌上摆放了一瓶空的啤酒罐，在这晚九时二十六分。
脑海里浮现了很多画面，流浪的，嬉笑的，争吵的，兴奋的。
孤零零的一个人，呆在空荡荡的房里，在享受抑或厌倦孤单了呢？
正在谈的一场感情，是因为孤单了太久，还是真的喜欢？我已分不清了。
是到了一定的年纪了吗？是不是连该有的激情也消失了？连带的感情也谈得战战兢兢，小心翼翼？
厌倦了一个人，所以他像是一个漂在海上的救生圈，深怕一个不小心就会沉入海底，那无底深渊？
喜欢了那个人，所以他像是一个在海中漂浮着的救生圈，是一个掉入海底的孤单灵魂的救赎？
无论如何，还是感激这一个救生圈，不怕艰苦，把快消失的灵魂给拉了起来。
学会珍惜吧，是我能回馈你的最大礼物，即使那很难。

De-motivation

Lately I have been asking myself, why am I feeling demotivated. I don't feel like reading, or studying, or researching, or writing. Looking at the clock, minutes by minutes, hours by hours. It's almost weekend again. There was nothing that I have accomplished so far. Felt so lonely as when everyone is working on something, I was marching in the same spot.

我们在不同的时间出发，向往那一个憧憬。
忘了吗？忘了是哪一次，哪一个，哪一时。
风，仿佛吹乱了那一头长发，也仿佛吹散了那一股热忱。
时间，让你我经历了曾经，曾经那信誓旦旦的前程。
岁月，却让我止了脚步，眼看终点越离越远，我的目光也转移了方向。
若说一切能从来，选择会不会就不一样。

Those days

Those days seem too close to grasp, yet there were just mist which one could not hold but sense.

Looking back at those days, the memories are not fading as I expected.

They come back when sun sets, when stars shine on a sleepless night.

Years past and gone, people met and gone, a house after next. I thought I have forgotten, the feeling of standing on the edge of highest cliff. Looking down at the waves, they seemed to wash away the lonesome, but brought back the guilt. The excitement, or was I afraid, refrained me from stepping forward or back.

The sea side, reminded me of home. The cold beer, reminded me of my family. Have my freedom weighed down? Have my values changed? I wish there were an angel, who shows me direction that I could not grasp even at this moment. What were my goals? Maybe I have found it, a more simple one than I have thought.

I wish, to build a home, with all my heart. and to be with the love ones I cherish, with all my life.